Sensitivity Is A Signal: Part One
“The Gift We’re Taught to Suppress”
May 2025
Some of us were never able to tune things out the way others seemed to. We notice everything, especially the pain. The pain of those around us, the pain of the outside world, and our own pain which we keep hidden— in fear of being too much, or of being told that our emotions are wrong. We absorb what’s around us, and we feel solely responsible for fixing it. Those of us who never learned how to protect our sensitivity inevitably fall into the trap of altering, dimming and overextending. In hopes of appearing or feeling “normal”, and in hopes of making things better for those around us at the expense of ourselves. We can become emotionally enmeshed with those closest to us— so much so, that we lose our ability figure out which emotions are truly our own, and which ones we are taking on for other people. Some of us never had that ability to begin with, which makes the healing process much more complex, because there was never time in our lives where we truly knew ourselves outside of other people.
Many of us are surrounded by people who love us deeply, but they themselves may have been forced to dim or disconnect from their own sensitivity, which could make love feel complicated at times– or like it’s in a language that we do not understand. When someone has had to dim their sensitivity to survive, like way too many people in this world have had to, seeing others openly express it can stir a lot for them. They don’t mean to dismiss— they’re likely trying to subconsciously protect us, because they know what this world can do to people who feel deeply and openly.
Being vulnerable, expressing how you feel, and having your emotions/experiences witnessed and validated, these are human necessities. The majority of the world is starving for them, but they don’t feel “allowed” to experience it. It’s taken me 24 years to understand that the goal is not to dim our sensitivity. Our emotions are not something to fix; the way we regulate, respond, and what we allow is what needs fixing.
There is a huge misconception that honoring, holding, and expressing your emotions is weak— or that moving through the world based on them is a stupid idea. But in my experience, it is only a bad idea if you’re unhealed, because your internal compass is broken. When your compass is broken, then yes, acting based on emotion is more harmful than good; but once we return back to ourselves, we will find that every emotion is signaling something to us. Anger, sadness, boredom, frustration, jealousy– these are all signals that our body uses to let us know that something needs adjusting or acknowledging. It is our own responsibility to interpret whether that’s coming from within ourselves and our own insecurities or wounds, or if someone’s actions (or inactions) are playing a part.
Honoring your emotions does not equal blaming everyone else for them. That is another huge misconception. You can take responsibility for how you feel, while still honoring yourself. Either by speaking up, or simply removing yourself— because sometimes that is all that can be done. I’ve gotten to a place where I cannot hold resentment or blame towards those who can’t hold my emotions, or towards those who wounded me. They simply were never taught correctly, or they are so wounded themselves that all they know how to do is wound others before they can be wounded first.
I feel a responsibility to remind people that it’s completely human to feel deeply, love loudly, and to cry in public if you need to. I don’t feel the responsibility because I think I have to do anything, but because I know I have the ability to, through the healing work that I have done within myself first. And like I said, the world is starving for real connection and vulnerability. We are all born with an emotional compass, and a knowing that those around us are supposed to show up. Babies cry, toddlers and young children ask and blurt out their honest, unfiltered emotions, needs and thoughts. But along the way, little by little, we all learn that it isn’t safe to show up authentically. By the time most of us reach adulthood, that belief can feel so deeply ingrained as truth and almost impossible to undo, that many people don’t try. Not because they don’t want to, but because they don’t believe it is safe or even necessary.
I’m here to remind you that it is completely safe and it is absolutely necessary in order to live a life that is true to your soul and the purpose you have on this Earth. Our emotions are signals that should not be ignored or suppressed. Sensitivity is a gift that we can share once we learn how to work with it, not against it. In order to begin working with it, you must reset the compass. This kind of reset can’t happen overnight. Once I began taking my mental and emotional wellbeing seriously, it took me 5 years to get to where I am today. Multiple therapists, doctors, medications, treatments. But most importantly, it took me being unshakably honest with myself– and the role I played. Once you are honest, and once you become aware of every ugly feeling, thought, and action, then you can begin the rebuild. You can fill your mind with truth, not wounded beliefs. But the thing is, you absolutely must keep going even when it doesn’t feel like it’s working; I promise you it is. You will see it one day when you least expect to. You’ll notice that you’re responding differently, you’re instinctively retracting from toxicity without guilt, and you are no longer attaching people’s words or actions to your worth.
I began my healing journey in 2020. I had reached a point where I knew that I was so mentally and emotionally unhealthy, and so far gone from who I knew I had the potential to be. I realized that if I ever wanted to live even a fraction of a meaningful life, then I needed serious help. I reached out to a psychiatrist, had my first zoom appointment, and from then on I was completely dedicated to becoming the person I always wished to be. I’ve dissected my entire life, little by little. I’ve processed everything that has ever happened to me (even the tiniest, seemingly “unimportant” wounds), my own toxicity or retaliations, and what I believed about myself and others through those experiences.
My journey is messy, imperfect, and ongoing. Healing is not an aesthetic, and it can feel unbearable at times— but it is so worth it. I’m doing this for the younger version of me who couldn’t understand why the world felt so cruel. For the version of me who didn’t know why she was in so much pain— but who still showed up and did the work, every single day. I am doing this for the world, because I know that my healing has a ripple effect whether I ever get to see it or not. This is all any of us can do: heal ourselves, live in alignment with who we truly are, and trust that people outside of us will see that light and want it for themselves too. This is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves and others.